Heart Care ABC’s: Dealing with Heart Issues

As we care for others, we begin to realize that we have our own struggles with fear, (Am I caring the “right” way?), frustration (the other person isn’t changing or improving on our schedule!) and unforgiveness (How could God allow the difficulties this friend is facing?).

The recognition that I still need to grow up myself and don’t have all the answers, sometimes creates stress and tension in our lives. Stress and the normal life pressures in our own lives create opportunities to see what is really in our own hearts.  When everything goes our way, and we feel in control of our situation, it is easy to behave in loving ways. But when pressure or stress come, they squeeze open the pockets in our hearts that are full of unhealed pain, fear, resentment, and unforgiveness. When they appear in our thoughts, words and actions, we become aware of their presence; and we have an opportunity to let the Lord begin to deal with them.

We believe that almost all of the suffering we face in life involves at least one of these three dynamics:

Loss (Grief):  We look at the ways we react to the loss of anything that is important to us and at the stages of grief, the process of healing from the loss.

Fear: Deep fear of being abandoned, disrespected, or worthless is a force that drives us to destructive behaviors like anger, indecision, withdrawing and other defenses.  Fear majors in destroying relationships.  We look at what Jesus had to say about the life we live with Him and living in that Cycle of Love can deliver us from the need to defend ourselves from others.

Offenses:  Lastly, we look at hurts and offenses that come into our lives whether from others, an unexpected accident or as a result of our own bad choices.  We cannot choose the ways we will be affected; the only choice we have is how we deal with it.

When we offer care to women going through the difficulties and crises of life, we need to understand the dynamics of these deeper root issues in order to be helpful in her process of spiritual and emotional growth. As we learn to recognize the symptoms of various emotional reactions in ourselves and others, we will be able to help others, and ourselves, move beyond pain, fear, lies and bad habits to greater freedom in Christ.